Juz feel like writing...

Blogging is really a weird thing to me... I'll only write it when i feel like writing it, and I merely touch it when the mood is not there. haha... this is me! I do everything based on my mood, I am really a moody person, easily influenced by my mood. For example, yesterday i might said I will go back to KL the next day, but I will change my plan suddenly on the next day. Every time I telling myself to be responsible for what I've said, and keep mine words, but there are always many excuses in my mind, and making me to change my mind. Hey! wake up u have been in the basic, how can u be like old days, so irresponsible for wat have u said!!! After the training i've made a promise to myself, I must be open, honest and responsible for everything. But now I take back everything, and go back to my comfort zone. So tired of being like this, everyday just try to said something that is no true, to make my friends feel better. And all the ppl around me just saying sumthing to me make feel better as well. scare for being honest and genuine. So hard to being honest with them. I am not blaming them, I understand...that's no wrong by wearing a mask. What's wrong with that...everyone out there are wearing a mask. there are competition everyday, compete abt everthing... results, girlfriends/boyfriends, money, everything. y don't we just make a win win situation in everything? Rite compete is to improve urself, but must us compete in all sort of things, don't you feel tired by competiting everyday? wake up everyday, thinking of strategies, and thinking of how to win. I have enough of these... and wake up and wear the mask to faced everyone out there, smile at them...BUT THE SMILE ARE SO FAKE!!!! make friends with someone, but honestly trying to take advantages over them...y we need to live like this?