Saturday, July 19, 2008

Juz feel like writing...

Blogging is really a weird thing to me... I'll only write it when i feel like writing it, and I merely touch it when the mood is not there. haha... this is me! I do everything based on my mood, I am really a moody person, easily influenced by my mood. For example, yesterday i might said I will go back to KL the next day, but I will change my plan suddenly on the next day. Every time I telling myself to be responsible for what I've said, and keep mine words, but there are always many excuses in my mind, and making me to change my mind. Hey! wake up u have been in the basic, how can u be like old days, so irresponsible for wat have u said!!! After the training i've made a promise to myself, I must be open, honest and responsible for everything. But now I take back everything, and go back to my comfort zone. So tired of being like this, everyday just try to said something that is no true, to make my friends feel better. And all the ppl around me just saying sumthing to me make feel better as well. scare for being honest and genuine. So hard to being honest with them. I am not blaming them, I understand...that's no wrong by wearing a mask. What's wrong with that...everyone out there are wearing a mask. there are competition everyday, compete abt everthing... results, girlfriends/boyfriends, money, everything. y don't we just make a win win situation in everything? Rite compete is to improve urself, but must us compete in all sort of things, don't you feel tired by competiting everyday? wake up everyday, thinking of strategies, and thinking of how to win. I have enough of these... and wake up and wear the mask to faced everyone out there, smile at them...BUT THE SMILE ARE SO FAKE!!!! make friends with someone, but honestly trying to take advantages over them...y we need to live like this?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

my training....ASIA WORKS

raining day again...dunno wat happen to the weather...i am having QT mid term this weekend..shit i havent do any revision yet..and my maths are so so so bad...Dunno y 2day i felt abit weird...erm.. abit down maybe...i also dunno why? i think is because sometime I will felt like i am nobody...because i cant really mix well with my friends or even my housemate...cuz watever topic they are talking or discussing, i juz cant mix it in...hiah...and somemore my psp, dunno wat happen? Maybe is my hand to gatal go and update the now cant play games already...haih...need bring it to hospital ad...all of them when out for yumcha, left me here...they do ask me to go also...but i juz dont feel like not mood...think of the damn QT mid term and about my stress..because I need to go for and advanced training..and I affraid i might having test on that particular week...HOW??? i really wanna join this training, i cant wait to go already...i miss my training friends so much...there is the only place that i wont feel any distance between me and them...all of us is like being tight together by an invisible rope...i will not wearing any mask, all of us over there are so genuine, they will tell me wat is their feeling...and they wont hesitate or avoid by giving me any feedback...miss this kind of feeling so i cant wait to go...that time went all of us cry and hug each other together..the feeling are so fantastic...i cant say it out by using words...i want this feeling to remain always, i hope everyone can be like this...ASIA WORKS ROCKS!!!